late night talks

Yesterday I began and ended my day with a cup of coffee.  It doesn't usually end that way but I wanted to avoid falling asleep during a movie we had planned to watch after the littles were in bed.  I would never have anticipated that I would still be up at 2am with no desire to sleep whatsoever.

This was just too good.  This time alone to hold hands with my husband and share our goals and dreams.  To talk about how God is working in us and the ways we want him to.  To consider the blessings we often take for granted and don''t want to take for granted anymore.  To feel like there is no rush and we have all the time in the world.  I treasure times like these.

There are memories that we want to be more intentional about making.  There are habits to break and better habits to form.  There are things to get more serious about and distractions to be set aside.  Anyone else going through this?

It takes heart change and it takes obedience.

We came up with a plan last night to meet one Friday a month with the purpose of looking back to evaluate how we are doing and to look ahead to what we want to do more of and better at.  We want to make the most of the time that God gives to us.  It seems to be going by so fast!

"Lord, we need you and we want more of you in our lives!  Give us grace to do your will."

I like simple

I'm taking a midday break to collect my thoughts and rest from the organizational tactics I have been employing for most of the morning.  I am finally making significant progress in the most "catch all" room of our house: our bedroom.  I long for this room to be beautiful and to be a haven of rest rather than a place where we stub our toes on boxes.  I've been going through boxes of old papers and old notebooks.  I have containers full of old cords and little doo-hickies that we never use and had forgotten that we have.  I'm gathering a box of things that I will have to run by my husband to see if he thinks we need them.  I'm hoping that many of these things will find their way into the trash or the donation box.  It's so freeing!

I came across my husband's old notes and all the flashcards he used while attending BJU.  I'm talking like an entire shoe box full of them!  It's crazy the amount of information that he crammed in.  Obviously, not all of it could possibly still be in there.  Maybe that is why he won't agree to throwing the cards away just yet.  ;)  The day may come when he'll want to use them.  But I'm throwing away other things and it feels SO good!  I have to wonder why I have kept some of these things for so long!

Every time I put something into the trash or a donation bag I feel so happy because I know that the less stuff I have to deal with, the simpler my life will be.  And I like simple.

I love this quote that I came across on Pinterest: "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."  I think that is very good advice, don't you?

we ALL fall short

It is sad when a person bases their beliefs on their own experience.  When the things that people have done or have failed to do are the deciding factors in what they believe about God.  We cannot see God like we can see people.  And God's people are supposed to be a light and an example.  Maybe you've heard the saying "You are the only Bible some people will ever read" and it is true, our words and actions do matter and they often help or hinder.  But God is not limited to us.  He has shown his power in Creation and he has revealed himself in his Word.  He can save anyone and he can rescue from the most dire situations.

What really saddens me is that there are people who have had the privilege of hearing the Gospel but they stop short of turning their heart to Christ because the people they know who profess to be Christians have not lived it.  And this is the hard, cold reality.  People will fail us.  They are ultimately failing God himself but if we really think about it we are no different.  In fact, we cannot truly come to God unless we see how utterly sinful we are and how much we need a Savior.  The problem we have is that we want to hold on to our sin and blame others for it.

We have our own sin to confess.  God doesn't stop being God when we people fail to love as they should.  I am grieved for people who have turned from God, rejecting Christ and the Gospel and are looking for peace and happiness in all the wrong places.  I know they will come up empty.  I have lived it myself.  I have explored many avenues, all which led me further away from the truth and it was all utter nonsense.  Jesus, only Jesus, is the way, the truth and the life.  There is no other way to be healed and made whole.  Trust me, I tried.

I am grieved for people who have seen such a poor expression of Christianity that they want nothing to do with it.  The sad reality is that we all fall short of the glory of God.  It is OUR sin that we should be most concerned about.  It grieves me that a person can go their whole life pointing the finger at another person's sin and never admit their own.  I want them to turn to Christ.  I want them to be healed and to let go of the tremendous weight they bear because of an unforgiving and bitter heart.  May it never be that we use our difficult upbringing as an excuse to live life the way we want rather than the way God wants us to.

The Bible says "The fool says in his heart 'There is no God'" (Psalm 14:1).  Think about it.  It does not matter who you are.  Whether you grew up in a home with parents who professed to be Christians (whether living it out or not) or in a home where they made no such claim--you are accountable to God for what you have done and for what you choose to believe.  God is not interested in your finger pointing.  He wants to heal all of your hurts, and believe me, only he can.  He wants you to forgive and he wants to forgive you but remember that for all the wrong you see in others there is also wrong in you and your sin separates you from a God who wants to be close to you.

Who among us can claim that we have lived exactly as we ought?

None of us have.  Only Christ.

And this is why we must turn to him.  He alone is the perfectly righteous one who has never, ever done anything wrong.  He is the only one who can declare us righteous based on HIS righteousness.

He is the only one who can heal.  Turn to him, believe in your heart that he is Lord and be saved.  Your soul will not be at rest until you do.  

on being encouraged

It is so refreshing to me to get beyond the "I'm good!" when people ask how I am doing at church.  I know that I can't share every single struggle with others but to share at least one and to be encouraged by other women is such a blessing.  Isn't that why we gather together?  To encourage one another?  I think it is precious when we can connect with each other in a humble way, in a way that brings down the protective walls a bit and be honest about what God is bringing us through.  I am not the type to seek advice and I consider it one of my weaknesses.  I am amazed at how the Lord can use other women in my life to teach me.  They don't necessarily know how to help me if I am not a little open about it.  Far too often, I tend to think I have things mostly figured out.  Sometimes I wonder what pride is blinding me to!  Thankfully, the Lord is merciful and shows me things gradually.  :)

Yesterday, as I was getting Samuel ready for church, I thought ahead to when I would be there.  I knew that I would be with my littles in the nursery for Sunday School...that is typical.  I also knew that I would be in the nursery during the service in order to cover for someone who was out of town.  The thought occurred to me "Why even go?"  As if the pastor's wife is just going to stay home, right?  Well, the more I thought about that, the more I thought about what God says about it.  I am not just going to church to sit in a pew and hear a message.  That was not going to happen for me yesterday.  But I am going to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I am going to serve God.  And if that means I sit in a nursery, then that is how I will serve God.

My children were the only ones in the nursery and I did manage to hear the Sunday School message since the people met in the sanctuary.  I also had the opportunity for fellowship in between services and also afterwards.  In all of this I couldn't help but remember what it was like to not be a pastor's wife.  Was my coming to church, whether in the nursery or not, any less vital than it is now?  How many choose not to come because they will just be in the nursery with the baby anyway?  How many choose not to come because they have a nagging cough?  How many choose not to come because they don't think they'll get anything out of it and they can just listen to a sermon at home?  I think we all need to be reminded that we must come as long as we are able.  We must come to give, to serve and to encourage.  No believer in Christ is exempt from that.

I missed both services but I did not miss out on the blessing of being with the people I will spend eternity worshipping God with.  I can't begin to tell you of the ways in which my heart has been stirred unto good works when we meet.  Also, how much it encourages me to see the faces of those who also love God.  I know each of us faces our own set of struggles and temptations to just stay home.  But "Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hebrews 10:24-25)  

You may not even realize how much even just being there will encourage others.  What's holding you back?

a new beginning

Well, here I am again!  Just when I thought I had given up blogging (writing even!) my heart was stirred to try again.  So how on earth does a pastor's wife with eight kids have time to write?  Truth?  I don't feel like I have a bunch of extra time to fill but I miss writing, I miss sharing my heart and I don't want to forget all of the things that God is doing in my life.  This is a great way for me to journal my thoughts and all of the wonderful and hard things that happen in my day to day.

This blog will be different than what I have done in the past.  So much in my life has changed and that has affected the way I function.  I want to keep things as simple as possible.

For example, when I take pictures these days I primarily use my phone and I share with Instagram and Facebook.  I no longer want to take the time to put photos on my blog or to have to consider which ones to use with my posts.  I simply wish to write and I think this format will take less time.  

I really do not know who is going to take the time to read this (don't even know if my own mother reads what I write!) but my goal is not to become popular, I just want a place to put it all down.  It may only be once a month but I am okay with that, if you happen to read along, you will have to be okay with that too.  :)

This is the life that God has given me.  It's not perfect, but my God is and so are his plans for me.  I can't wait to write about it!

Let the "life notes" begin!