The weekly internal battle

If you're a mom who tries to make it to church on Sunday you probably know what strong opposition feels like.  You know how hard it is to get out that door.  It may be the circumstances, it may be the kids, it may even just be you...but you can be sure that the enemy of your soul is content to have you neglect meeting with God's people for whatever reason he can bring your way.  Why?  Because that is where encouragement and a unique and wonderful aspect of your spiritual growth is supposed to happen. (Ephesians 4:11-16)

Come to encourage and to be encouraged in your faith.
When we meet together we should be encouraged in our faith.  Sometimes we will feel like we are not getting that encouragement.  But with God's help we can always go ready to give it, can't we?  Sure, it can happen in other places and in other ways but God makes it pretty plain to us that it is not a good thing if we neglect to meet with other believers (Heb. 10:25). And not just the ones that we would put on our list of people we like and get along with.  You will be amazed at how much you will grow spiritually as you interact with people who think a little (or a lot!) differently than you do.  If you keep your focus on Christ you will actually learn to love as he loves. (Again, that Ephesians 4 passage!)

Come to hear the preaching of the word of God.
We should also find encouragement and conviction as the word of God is preached.  There is no perfect preacher who says just what you want to be said.  But that is not what preachers are supposed to do anyway (2 Timothy 4:1-5). They are called to preach the word of God.  They are not obeying God if they preach what you want to hear and what suits your fancy.  They must preach the truth of the word and do it in love.  If that is happening, then we really shouldn't be complaining.  It's so easy for us to get critical.  I'm ashamed to say that I was that way a time or two toward the pastors that God brought into my life.  Sometimes we need attitude adjustments that is for sure!  Out of all the people our pastors preach and minister to, what makes us think that he should do and say everything we want him to?  And to please every individual?  No, that is not God's will at all.   

God calls men to preach his word and if they are faithful to that then we really have so much to be thankful for.  Again, you won't always come away thinking, "That was so awesome!  I love how he said ______" (fill in the blank).  But is he preaching the word of God?

Our commitment to honor God is shown when we are willing to do the small, unimpressive things like simply showing up to church.  We don't always come away with mountain top experiences.  But that is not the way it's supposed to be. God just wants humble obedience and faithfulness.

Do your best to prepare and don't give up!

But it's not always easy is it?  Even just showing up to the building can be difficult.  I know that no matter how much you resolve to go to bed early with clothes ironed and dishes done, it doesn't always happen that way.  Life isn't always so predictably manageable no matter how hard we try to make it so. Things come up or little ones wake up in the middle of the night and at the end of some days all we want to do is fall into bed.  You don't even want to think about ironing or doing the dishes.  Sometimes we feel spent because we are giving so much of ourselves. We are loving and caring for the people in our lives day in and day out.

It seems like Sunday morning rarely goes off without a hitch and each week we try to do a little better than the week before.  If not that, we might just give up. And we really don't want to do that!  If you're like me, you've experienced many a ride to church where you resolve that you will do whatever it takes to not have a repeat of what happened that morning!

You'll try to get to bed a little earlier on Saturday.  You'll make sure the kids have their socks and shoes set aside.  You don't want to be hunting for them on Sunday morning and stressing out.  And yet it seems that no matter how prepared you may be that something will inevitably go wrong on Sunday morning.  You will face opposition as you try to get ready to leave.  Sometimes it feels as if the devil and every one of his demons are opposing you.  And it may very well be.  

One child will be crying for no apparent reason.  Nothing will appease them except for being held by you. And yet, you are the one who needs to finish getting ready to go.  The more they cry, the more you want to cry!  You have been meeting needs all morning and you are tired of giving.  You feel the pressure of time moving quickly and it is moving so much faster than you and the children.  "Will we make it on time?" you keep asking yourself.  

Another child cannot find their shoe or their shirt was somehow never ironed or someone cries out, "He hit me!" and you have to spend ten minutes resolving an issue.  And you are beginning to think that Sunday morning is working out to be the toughest morning of your week!

Don't forget to pray for help.

Your patience runs thin and you wonder if you should just cave and forget the whole thing!  But then you remember God.  He loves you so much and you love him too.  He invites you to pray in those times of your greatest need and distress.  He hears and helps you in ways you never would have thought possible.  God is the very reason why you are making all of this effort in the first place.  It is all for him!  

The more you begin to realize these truths the more you settle it in your mind that you are going to do the best you can to meet with God's people with all of your crew in tow.  Whether you be a bit late...or miss Sunday School because you needed the time to pray...You resolve that you are not going to cave and allow these challenges to keep you from this important place and this significant moment in time.  It really does matter!  Sure, there have been times in the past when you just couldn't muster it but by God's grace you will rely on his strength to make it out that door!

It feels like a fight.  It is a fight!  A difficult battle in your heart.  It's nothing new, really.  Your bad feelings are colliding with your good intentions.  All you have to decide is if you have the conviction to follow through with what you know you ought to do and do it no matter what.  And how many times have we said, "I'm so glad I went!"?  Even if that is not your sentiment, at least you know that you are doing something that God clearly wants you to do and there is a blessing in that.

Let's persevere in our desire to honor Christ and resolve to not let anything stand in our way. I know that many of you will face things that make my struggles seem easy in comparison.  I understand that for some of you there are serious issues that truly prevent you from being able to go to church.  But I am writing for those who are able but discouraged.  I simply wanted you to know that you are not alone in your Sunday morning struggles.  And I wanted to encourage you because I know how difficult it can be to get out the door sometimes!  I also know that there is so much blessing that we miss out on when we give in to challenges that we can overcome as we turn to God for grace and help.  Blessings to you as you seek to honor him with every choice you make.

Treasure that is eternal

I didn't intend to fall asleep with my two year old.  The last I remember, I was trying to get him to settle down for bed.  He had so much energy and wanted to play and giggle.  And though I would tell him it was time to settle down for bed, his playfulness kept winning me over.  I remember when he finally began to lay his sweet head on the pillow.  But that is the last I remember.  I was surprised to wake up at 4:00 AM and realize that I had fallen asleep without intending to.

There is something wonderful about waking up at that early in the morning and knowing that you might have at least a couple of hours before anyone else wakes up.  I was giddy with excitement!  I brewed a cup of coffee and settled in on the couch with my laptop.  Time to catch up on some articles I had saved to read for later.

The time flew by and I decided that I would put my focus on my Bible reading...especially before the kids got up (since I preferred the quiet version).  Usually when 6:30 AM comes around I know that it is going to be any minute now that little ones will wake up and be in need of my attention.  I had to use my time wisely.

I began to read and my mind was so full and active that I could hardly concentrate on the text before me.  Is it possible to read an entire two or three paragraphs and not have a clue what on earth you just read?!  Why, yes!  And thankfully I realized it because the last thing I wanted it to be was a meaningless exercise.  I prayed that God would help me give him my full attention.  He did help me and I really do cherish the quiet time I can spend reflecting on his word and praying.

I want to be a woman who prays more.  It's all about relationship, trust, dependence, and grace.  It's not just words and heaping up eloquent phrases.  No, far from that.  It's truly seeing my needs and the needs of others and knowing that God can meet every single one.  It's desiring to have his work and his will to be done in and through me.

This morning, in the quiet of my living room, I prayed.  God shows me things in his word and I know that I am in a good place when my heart is exposed and he shows me what needs fixing.  I know that when he stirs my heart to love more, give more, pray more...I know I am headed in the right direction.  Because, really, I could be satisfied with things as they are.  I could say it's good enough and continue on with business as usual.  But the more I think about my responsibility as a woman of God, as a mother, a teacher...(a leader, as so many of us are without even realizing it!) the more I cry out to God to show me what more he would have me to do for him.

I shed quiet tears as I prayed that I would love more today than I did yesterday.  That I would notice more, listen more, and hug more.  It is rather sobering for a mother to consider that though there is grace and mercy for every oversight and lack, there is also so much potential to impact future generations with your very life!  This truth astounds me and leaves me almost speechless sometimes.  The thought that just by making even the simplest of changes to my daily routine I can live a more fruitful life for my Savior.  The reality that every commitment I make matters for eternity.

There is so much I am doing yet so much I could do.  And this is where prayer comes in.  This is when I pray to God that he will show me how I can best serve him and bring him honor.

This morning I want to thank him for giving me a little class of children to teach on Sunday nights.  Yes, most of them are my own children but that's ok!  I didn't think it was what God had for me to do.  I thought it would be temporary and I even tried to find someone else to take my place.  But I have truly grown to love teaching truth to these young souls who are learning so much about the world around them.  What a blessing to be able to teach them about God!  We are memorizing God's word together every week.  And these little theologians are learning doctrine!  Last night, I was so delighted to introduce the kids to a prayer journal that I got so that we can keep a record of the things we are praying to God for and anticipate his answers.  We put all of our chairs in a circle and prayed to almighty God.

These things are the most precious treasure to me.  Because they are eternal.  I thank God for his work in and through his people.  I am probably the most undeserving of anyone to serve him.  My Redeemer lives!  And that my soul knows very well.