"I love my church"

Sam, our one year old, has this electronic toy that plays songs about various things that have special meaning to little people.  When you push the red buttons a child-like voice sings about her love for her shirt, shoes, coat and pajamas.  She'll sing about the special qualities of the thing she "loves".

We probably use the word love a little more casually than we ought to.  And so much so, that we tend to forget what it really means.  Far too often, we love things (and people) only as long as they are meeting our needs and keeping us happy.

When we say "I love my church" do we mean that we love God's church?  Not just the facilities and resources it possesses or the ministries it offers but the people within its walls?  And not just the people that you get along with?  But more than that, do we love God so much that we want his will to be done and not our own?

I read in the Scriptures of Jesus who emptied himself, became a servant and was obedient unto death (Phil. 2).  And who are we that we should receive such grace and benefit from such an amazing sacrifice?  

Are we committed to loving and serving even when our perceived needs are not being met?  Will we step forward to serve when the services we'd like to see are non-existent?  Maybe you have a burden for a particular thing and God wants to use you to start something for his glory?

Sadly, our inclination is to withdraw from fellowship when we sense any lack.  But if we are prayerful and devoted to understanding the teachings of the Scriptures, then our minds can be renewed with the attitude of Christ who came not to be served but to serve (Matt. 20:28).  How much more should we have this attitude?  We, who have been mercifully saved from our sin by his grace?  

It's easy to recognize the selfless beauty of Christ's attitude and to appreciate it.  But it is not so easy to put it into practice.  

We tend to have the opposite attitude.  It's not uncommon for God's people to have a consumer mindset toward church.  When we buy something we expect it to be worth the money we spent on it.  If we are taking the time to go to church, we might think "It had better be worth my while."  Do you notice the attitude of entitlement there?

Don't get me wrong, being "fed" spiritually from the preaching of the Word is important.  Being loved and encouraged in your faith are important.  You might even be thinking that you would serve if only you were given the opportunity!  But in all of this...our attitude...what is our attitude?

We really need to shift our focus from getting to giving.  We should "Go to give".  I read that somewhere years ago and it has stuck with me.  Are there benefits that we will receive from the ministry of our church?  Yes!  But sometimes we will have to wait on the Lord, his timing, his work in hearts, his will for us.  These things do not happen over night.  And God is far more interested in us having the attitude of Christ and submitting to his will than in getting our own way.

It is tragic that people spend so much time "feeling disconnected" and not having their expectations met that they fail to realize just how connected they really are! 

God desires for us to live out this true and vital connection with the Body of Christ by having the attitude of Christ.  He came to serve.  If even the King of glory had this attitude, shouldn't we?

(NOTE: To be clear, there are unhealthy and unsafe situations that a person should not remain in.  Please prayerfully seek wisdom from the Lord and godly counsel from people that you trust.  I am speaking here to Christians who are in churches that have biblical preaching, teaching and practice.  Yet, as all churches are, imperfect places where people sin and don't get it right 100% of the time.) 

We're not competing, we're on the same team

Surely, there is so much more to our relationships with each other as women than we often settle for.  We have built up far too many walls between us.  We have made far too many comparisons of ourselves with other women.  We are so quick to forget that God has given each of us our own unique gifts and talents to serve him with.  Because of our jealousy we begin to despise other women who are made in God's image.  This ought not to be.  

Have you noticed that the more we compare ourselves with each other, the more competitive we become?  I do not want to compete with others.  I want to be who God made me to be and be happy that you are being who God made you to be.  I want us to be on the same team, cheering each other on.  I want us to be humble enough to admit our faults to each other.  To then be able to encourage each other and effectively pray for one another.

God has given you gifts and talents that he has not given me.  You may be better equipped to play music, organize an event, notice a particular need and meet it, teach, pray, cook or create.  We may have similar talents.  Let us use them to serve Christ.  If you are better at something, it doesn't make you more and me less.  If I excel in one way, I should not be proud and your pride should not be hurt.  Pride should be far from us as women of God!

Instead, we should humbly acknowledge that we are who we are by the grace and mercy of God and encourage one another in serving Christ.  You may inspire me and I may inspire you and I may be challenged to improve and grow in Christ because of your shining example.  Iron sharpens iron.  That is as it should be.

But when we lose sight of the real goal we have as women of God, which is to know Christ and make him known, we become distracted by comparisons and differences and Satan gets a foothold.  

Let's serve him together with our hearts united in a common goal.  We all have our own set of strengths as well as shortcomings.  We cannot hide the latter nor should we be so intent on trying.  Because then how would we effectively pray for each other or sharpen and be sharpened?  

Let's get to know more of Christ and make him known.  And all along the way, let's love one another as he has loved us!  For without love we are but clanging cymbals.  A wonderful way to begin on that path to harmony and unity is to begin to pray for the women you struggle with.  Pray for the women who rub you the wrong way.  When you realize that you are comparing yourself to another woman confess it to God and pray for her.  Pray that God would help you to love her as Christ loves her.  Pray that God would use her gifts and talents for his glory and honor.  Pray whenever those thoughts come and don't give up.  Because love, unity and effective Spirit-led ministry depend upon it.

For now, hope is the answer

We run a risk when we open up and show our real selves with others, don't we?  We fear painting the picture of ourselves with too many strokes of one color.  We are hesitant to show any chinks in our armor because we fear that is all that people will see of us.  And we are certainly more than our problems and struggles, aren't we?

But the truth is, our struggles are what God is using to shape and mold us into people who are more like Christ.  And we are all facing our own share of struggles daily.  When we face adversity it is no accident.  God is actually working through the challenges and trials we face to mature us in our faith.  That truth encourages me to persevere.

See because like you, I have very difficult days.  One in particular this week was a real struggle.  There was my will and then...there was God's.  I wanted things easier, I wanted things more orderly, I wanted more control of how my day was going.  I was discouraged because it seems that there are so many things in my life right now that I am trying to improve.  I make plans and I try to fulfill them.  I set goals and I try to accomplish them.  Family meetings are held and everyone is given a chance to speak.  Things are made clear and my children know what I expect and yet...we struggle.  It seems that for every bit of progress we make there is just as much, if not more that we need to make.  It's a cycle that repeats itself over and over again in my life.  I am beginning to think that it will always continue.

I admit (especially when I look back on it) that I am thankful for this refining process that God brings me through.  But when I am going through the process it just feels like an unwanted interruption in the daily flow of my life.  It wears me out and I feel tired and stretched.

When I have a really difficult day it is as if a cloud of dust encompasses me and all I really want to do is get out of it but I can hardly see.  And I'm not sure which way to go or what to do first.  I feel discouraged and I want to curl up in a ball and wait until the dust storm passes.  And I do, for a while.  And I feel sad that I am stuck in this storm.  But I know if I don't get moving I may be there a while and there are people who are depending on me.

Many moments are spent with my eyes closed, feebly reaching out, grasping for help to get out of the cloud of dust that surrounds me.  My prayers are not long or eloquent.  All I can do is groan and mumble "Oh, Lord.  Help me."

I spent quite a while attempting to emerge from that dust cloud.  I cried and desperately wished that I wasn't in it.  But every time I tried to take a step forward, the harsh, overwhelming wind knocked me down and I had to reach out for God again.

I realized later that what I needed most was hope renewed.  I needed the courage to see that all of my efforts are not in vain.  That it's all worth it.  All of my struggles, day in and day out.  I can still have hope even in the midst of failure.  Because through my failures I am learning to depend on God more and to be strong in him.  I learn what doesn't work well and what does.  Sure, I want to be spared from learning the hard way but sometimes going through it is what helps me to learn.

I certainly don't have all the answers and solutions yet.  I probably never will as long as I live on this earth.  But I know who I trust with my life.  I can always have hope with God.  I am confident that he will give me grace to persevere and continue to make progress.  However minimal and slow that may be.  Progress is still progress.

My hope in God is what helped me to emerge from that cloud of dust to see the sunshine again.  And it really is a breath of fresh air.  

Trusting changes things in a moment

Trusting God can be such a perfect mix of difficult and simple.  Disappointing and unexpected news can send us reeling.  Sometimes we can feel as though our feet have been knocked out from under us.  The situation can seem utterly impossible.  And we question how we will ever overcome the obstacles.  We can begin to give in to worry and our God may seem distant and small in those moments.  Our problem has grown into a giant filling our heart with fear and threatening our well-being, not only physically but spiritually.

Making the decision to trust a loving and faithful God with our circumstances can completely change things.  In a single moment a person can go from worry, fear and despair to calm, confident trust.  I know, because I have experienced it.  And the thing that trusting in God changes the most is the person who chooses do it.

God is worthy of our trust.  He is the reason we have hope!  Think of his sovereignty and how he sent his Son into the world so that those who believe in him could be saved.  Nothing could have hindered that love that came down from heaven!  No evil and no difficult circumstance.  God's will was being accomplished.  He is accomplishing his will in your life right now.

Remember what you have believed about him.  Remember that he created all things by the word of his power.  Think of the sun, moon and stars...the fruits and vegetables you will (or should) eat today :) ...the way he made you...the fact that he is in all places at all times keeping watch...he sees all and he knows all.  Nothing escapes his attention and nothing is too hard for him.  NOTHING  is impossible with God.  The hairs of your head are all numbered.  He is that attentive to you!

He spoke to the wind and waves and they were still...he knows the stars by name!  Think of it!  How can we doubt that this amazing God who loves us so much is working in our lives for our good?  Even through the things that disappoint and cause us to fear the days ahead.  "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you."  The psalmist chooses to trust and so will I.  This isn't just some cutesy verse for little kids who are afraid of the dark.  This is one of the most important choices a person can make.  It is a choice grown men and women will need to make when they face the unknown.  Because we choose to trust our unknown future to a known God.  We will often do it through tears but it is the best decision we can make.

He is working in your life in very specific ways.  It all matters.  It all counts.  He can be honored and glorified by how you respond to your trials.  You can have peace and calm in your heart as you turn to him in trust.  No one is more worthy of it than our God.

Spending meaningful time together

It may sound crazy coming from a stay-at-home mom who home schools but here goes: I don't spend enough meaningful time with my kids.

Oh, I know, most of us would say the same thing.  We might always feel like we could do more.  And as for me, this knowing that I wanted to change my approach and be much more intentional with the time we spend and the way we spend it has been simmering for years.  I've made little changes here and there and I've done what I could.  That's all you can do, right?  But I have really been hungering for more.  I am not satisfied and I knew that some things needed to change.

I want to connect in meaningful and bonding ways with every person under this roof.  How is it that I can sometimes go days without hugging, having a meaningful conversation, and praying with my kids?!  It can happen if I am not intentional about it.

Every family has ups and downs each and every day.  I have often chuckled to myself because not long after I post a sweet, happy photo on Facebook we often find ourselves in the throes of some little person drama.  People are bursting into tears and there are often ugly situations that need attention and the grace of God.  I will spare you those photos!

And the messes we make!  Oh, my!  And you know what that means?  That means this mama is very intent on controlling the mess and making sure every one is cleaning and picking up.

I have gone days where the only thing my children hear from me is what we need to do next.  One task after another.  They also have school work to do.  And they would have fun and relaxing activities to look forward to.  But those activities would often not involve me.  They would do their thing and I was busy doing mine.

We almost always come together as a family in the evenings.  But I really wanted to connect with my kids as individuals.  To strengthen our bond in the sweet and happy moments.  So that it doesn't begin to feel like all I am doing is correcting and disciplining.  We need to have fun together!

It doesn't have to cost any money or require an extravagant trip to a theme park (though that would be fun too).  But it is going to require a willing mama.  A mama that recognizes how much her kids need to be loved and treasured.  A mama who sees how desperately her kids need her to look them in the eye and log off of social media.  Yes, there is a time and place for all that and we need discernment, don't we?  We need to be careful that we are not so busy soaking in all of the details of someone else's life that we forget to soak in our own.  But the beauty of it is that we get to decide.  We can set those parameters and with the Spirit's help we can stick to them.

I have begun to do two things that I think are going to go a long way in me strengthening my relationships with my kids.  The first is to put my phone to really good use and put each of them on the calendar.  I started with February.  Each child gets a special, focused, no screens time with mama on the day their birthday falls on.  And they get to look forward to that each month.  I know, eight kids!  That's a lot of people on the calendar, right?!  Well, it has been so helpful to have a planned time for each of them to look forward to and I look forward to it too!  Tonight was Isabel's night.  She was beyond excited!  My husband and I went out for dinner (we avoid the Valentine's Day crowds and go the day after) and my phone buzzed with a reminder that said "ISABEL".  We managed to eat dinner, pick up a few small things at Lowe's, get a few groceries and then get home so that I could spend some special time with Izzy before she went to bed.  If I didn't plan this she would probably just go to bed as usual and I would have really missed out on making more memories with my sweet girl.  We simply read a few books because we haven't done that in a few days, we snuggled and I prayed with her.  I thanked God for her and prayed for her. She was a bit reluctant to go to bed but I just love how she loves to be with me.  I need to nurture that!

The second thing I am doing is minimizing stuff.  I began to evaluate our trouble spots.  What is it that is hindering us from doing some of the things we'd like to do?  One big thing is the amount of time we have had to spend just picking up all sorts of little things that little people like to carry all over the house.  Legos, blocks, little plastic people, little magnet people etc.  It was becoming a constant issue.  I spent the day today gathering up all of the little things and they are now being stored in a closet in my room.  They are off limits during the week.  We'll pull them out on rainy days and weekends.  I might even decide that we don't need them at all.  We'll see.  But I am really looking forward to seeing what the week will be like without their constant presence.  I also filled a few bags of donations to minimize clutter.  I am really developing a dislike for stuffed animals.  I used to love them.  But the problem is they are enjoyed for a short time and then take up valuable space for a long time.  We have kept a few really special ones but many of them just needed to go.

There is so much else that we have to spend our time cleaning on a daily basis.  I am hoping that this decision will cut that time in half.  And the kids are thrilled about what we did today!  Even they are tired of the toys and the mess.  They would rather run and play outside and ride their bikes or go the park or have more time to play instruments and pursue art.  Or maybe just snuggle on the couch with mom a little more?  Now there's an idea!