Dear children...

[A letter to my children after a tiring day of assignments to finish and tasks to complete...]

I know I don't always show it but I share your desire to have fun.  And even though I am often telling you what needs to be done and asking you if you have done everything on your list I (just like you) long for times when we can just slow down and laugh together.  

I just want the work to be done so that we enjoy the fruits of our labors.  I am hoping that you learn the joy that comes from a job well done.  I am hoping that you learn how much time it saves when you do the job right the first time.  I still remember my parents telling me this and I find myself saying the same thing to you and inwardly I wonder if you are really hearing me or not.

I was a kid once too.  I know how you feel.  But I also know how you need to grow and change the way you think about the work you have to do.  Today had its struggles and those things that were left undone or done halfway or not at all just caused this momma to wonder if we'll ever get this ship sailing smoothly.  But bad days tend to brush a dark stroke over all of the brightness I may be failing to notice.  We are works in progress...the whole lot of us!  And by God's grace our weak spots will be brought to maturity.

Please never think of me as a woman who is all work and no fun.  I think, at times, that I may have thought the same of my parents.  But then I remember them out with us kids on the sidewalk that ran along our street.  My mom and dad both trying to ride on our skateboards.  They needed a break from it all too.  They probably wanted to have fun just as much as we did.

And that was me tonight... 

After dinner when I went out to the garage to get on that treadmill...I was pretty focused on what I needed to accomplish.  And I had such a great view of the driveway and some of you, my beautiful children, playing and laughing.  The sun was beginning to set but there was still plenty of light to ride your bikes back and forth along our street.  You've been trying to "pop wheelies" and ride with no hands.  Just like I used to do when I was your age.  I smiled while I watched you and it helped the time to pass for me while I walked at a fast pace on that machine.  

But then I remembered that I have a bike too.  And I got all excited just thinking about how much of a kick you all would get out of it if you saw me riding on my bike.  I was right, you all loved it!  And we raced and we laughed and I have to say...I felt like a kid all over again.  

Thank you for that.

...And I hope that someday you'll thank me for teaching you how to work hard.  ;)

Giving even when you're not getting

I have often been the facial expression reader...the body language discerner...the tone of voice decipherer...and sometimes to a fault.  I have considered my "vibe" detector to be finely tuned and my radar for how a person really thinks and feels to be super sensitive.  I used to pride myself on that.  

The fact is, over time I realized that I wasn't always right.  Even with my own husband.  

I would read into his facial expressions and tone...

"What's wrong?  Are you upset?"  

"No, I'm fine."  

"Are you sure?"...

It was hard for me to grow in this area and just take his word for it.

And it would often happen at church too.  There would be that person, who was friendly one day and not quite as friendly and talkative the next.  Things wouldn't seem right between us...I was picking up on vibes and I didn't like the way they felt.

With a desire to make sure everything was okay between us, I would decide that I should ask her if I have offended her in any way.  Though, honestly, I couldn't think of any possible way I might have done that.

And you know what?  Over time, I began to realize that the main reason I really wanted to ask was because I wanted to be a people pleaser and I wanted to make sure they still thought well of me.  

Do you see the self-centeredness in that?

My first thought was not centered on what she might be going through.  My first thought was not to pray for her...my first thought was "I want to feel better than she's making me feel right now."  Never mind the fact that she might be going through something that I am completely unaware of.  I began to realize how selfish my concerns were.

Sometimes we struggle with the way people treat us...or maybe they don't treat us at all.  Sometimes we feel neglected, under appreciated, unnoticed, and slighted.  And it's in those times that we may need to adjust our  focus.

Instead of asking "What am I getting from people?" we should ask ourselves "What am I giving to people?".  

And with that second question open up our heart to God and ask him to search it.  

It's easy to complain about what others aren't doing, but it's harder to deeply consider what we ought to be doing.  Especially in light of what God has said.

Even the Lord Jesus "made himself nothing and took the form of a servant" (Phil. 3:7).  He "came not to be served, but to serve" (Matt. 20:28) 

Is that your mindset?

[This is a repost from my archives.  I decided to share it again because I have been thinking about these things lately and I figured maybe someone else is too.  I hope it will encourage a change in focus for those who need it and more glory to God as a result.]

simply reading to them

It's a wonder that I am still awake at this time of night.  It is also a wonder that Samuel is still sleeping in his crib.  And he has finally stopped his ritual of crying as soon as he is placed within it.  You would think I was laying him on bed of nails.  He would be fast asleep with his head on my shoulder and as soon as I put him in his crib it was all over!  Pretty frustrating for mom and dad! Isn't it funny how babies go through phases?  And then, one day you realize (with a great sense of relief) that they don't do that "thing" anymore.

And so here I am typing for the first time in a long time.  And it's because my mind is very active and it's also because I wanted to write about something that has been a source of joy for me.

I really do strive to be more intentional about teaching my children about God and providing a home where they can grow and flourish.  It is easy to lose sight of important goals as the busyness of life seems to take over and push them aside.  Sometimes I feel as though I swimming against a current when I seek to establish important patterns in our day to day life.  But I have found that with a little prayer, planning and resolve we can pull it off.

And we have...for ten evenings.  How do I know that?  Because most evenings after we eat our dinner we read one chapter of the Bible.  Tonight we read from Genesis chapter ten.  We plan to read from Genesis to Revelation...one chapter an evening.  If we miss an evening, it's ok.  Though we try not to.  But we can just pick right up where we left off.  And it doesn't matter how long it takes to get to the end.  Who knows?  We might just start all over again!

Are the kids perfect about sitting still and listening?  Not always.
Do we sometimes have to stop reading and address that? Yes...often.

But it's worth it.

And after we read we just ask them whatever questions we can think of.  We don't cover everything.  My husband doesn't exposit the entire chapter! Lol! We just ask questions and those who were listening usually know the answers.  And you know what?  We have fun!  At least I do!  :)

I realize this is not some monumental, impressive method of doing things but that is exactly the point.  It's so simple.  You don't need some drawn out lesson plan.  Just gather the kids and read the Word of God to them.

We have such a sweet time together and we have already built some precious memories.  The best thing about it is getting to know our God more and more each time...

And the way Isabel answers some of the questions...now that is priceless!

when children help us learn

Why do I do it?  Why do I just plow headlong through things and not stop to set my heart straight?  I often fail to recognize my dependence on God for strength, courage and saying no to self.  And the hard part is that I am often on cruising on autopilot and I don't even realize that there is a problem.  Yesterday I learned another lesson about the importance of prayer.  I consider it a lesson because the Lord was gracious enough to show me how I do not do turn to him as often as I ought to.  And what's more, I am not pointing my children to Christ as often as I could be in the real, nitty gritty struggles we face.

Sometimes mothering can teach you things you need to learn.  It is quite a big responsibility to be leading these little ones in this thing called life.  I often feel like I must show them the way that I, quite frankly, am still in the process of finding.  We all have tactics, strategies and ways of dealing with things that become ingrained and automatic.  And I find that those things become magnified when I am in the process of parenting one of my children.

You may be wondering what I mean.  Well, one of the main things I am trying to teach my children is that life is all about relationships.  If the first and greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and the second is like unto it "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" then we can clearly see that truth.

So how does this apply to the child who is afraid to talk to the guests and runs upstairs to hide from them?  The initial response is very matter of fact "You need to come downstairs",  "You should be friendly to our guests"...then as more crying ensues..."Get up off of the bed and come downstairs"...

I hope that you appreciate the pressure and time crunch of this moment.  If you are like me you have probably been in situations where you do not feel like you have the time to deal with a child's emotional outbursts.  Everything inside of you just wants the kid to get with it and do what they are supposed to.  Well, by God's grace my tactics were not working.  God was going to show me that this was an opportunity to take a moment and point my child to the Word of God and to help them to see that though this was a very hard thing to do (for them) that God's help and strength are but a prayer away.

How often are we self-centered and afraid to come out of our comfort zones and serve Christ?  How often do we just do what feels good to us, regardless of how it makes others feel?  There is so much more to it than just "Come down from the room and quit your crying"!  There is a spiritual need that needs addressing.  There is a mom who knows that when she struggles she needs to turn to the Lord and get her focus back on him.

And so, I got down on my knees and we prayed together.  It didn't fix everything and the tears didn't stop right away.  But I know that it was the best thing I could have possibly done with my child.  And I hope that I remember that in all of the opportunities that God gives me to point my children to him.

If I could only write one more post

To all people, no matter how old you are, whether you are a man, woman, boy or girl.  To people who go to church and to people who don't.  To people who know a little or know a lot.  Whoever you are and no matter what you have done in your life, this message is for you:

Many people think that it is narrow-minded and unloving to claim that Jesus is the only way to God.  People say "How could a loving God send people to hell?"  They reason that since so many people the world over do not believe in Jesus but rather believe in some other way to God that there must be many ways to him.  Maybe they think of it like a person trying to reach a destination.  For example, if I want to travel from point A to point B, I often have more than one way to get there.  But here's the thing: I hope to end up in the right place.  There may be a few twists and winds but do I know where I am going?  What do I hope to find when I get there?

These thoughts have been heavy on my mind lately.  See, here's the thing we must understand.  It is because of a person's own sin and rejection of the pure and deep love of God that they go to hell.  We are all deserving of it.  God has graciously given us all a way to escape it.  He has given us his Son.  How could anyone ever consider this God unloving?  He who sent his beautiful and holy Son to this ugly and sinful place so that we could be forgiven?  His love is deeper than any love we have ever known!

So how can we escape being separated from God forever just because he sent his Son?  Well, Jesus came to be what we could not be.  He was perfect, he loved with the right motives, he was completely and utterly selfless, he always did what pleased his Father.  Who among us can say that about ourselves?  Not one of us.  We know we fall short.  No matter how good and loving we often like to think we are.  But the beauty of it is that we can have Christ's righteousness through faith in him!

The gospel makes my heart burn!  It has me so excited because it is true and it is clear!  Don't you long for that?  Don't you long to just know what is true and what is false?  I am so tired of all of these mixed messages and man's flawed opinions!  Give me the truth!  Give me the authority of the Word of God and let no deception worm it's way into my heart!

The other day I taught the children from John chapter 10.  Jesus makes some pretty strong claims there...

"Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.  All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.  I am the door.  If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  I am the good shepherd.  The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

Please, set your experience and your misconceptions aside and hear what Jesus says to you.  He is the only way to find the peace that you are looking for.  He is true beauty, true love, and true life.  You will not find these things in anything or anyone else.  All of those other supposed "gods" or "wise" ways of living will not truly give you life that only Jesus can give to you.  He alone can show us the way because he made the way to eternal life by giving up his own.  All others are impostors, they are thieves who snatch you up and captivate you with their "good" ideas and supposed ways to God.  And in the end they will keep you separated from the God who made you and loves your soul with more passion than you can imagine.

Please turn to Jesus.  He is the only way to be one with God forever.