when the word is "no"

It is hard for the mother of a new baby to go from the cuddling, comforting, and "I'll do whatever I can for you when you cry" status to being a mom who tells their baby "no".  Your sweet child has never heard that word directed at them.  For months, you have given them what they cried for.  Granted, they haven't wanted much...milk, to burp, a clean diaper, to be held...but you have given them this day in and day out.

And then, it seems like almost overnight they start to show the telltale signs of what they really believe.  They believe that they are the boss!  They think that they can control circumstances.  They will sit...but only if they want to (get ready for the stiff legs and arched back) and they will take a nap when and if they want to (get ready for the loud cries).  

If you are like me, you will probably struggle a little through this stage.  You are so accustomed to getting your child to stop crying.  And now, even though you are doing what is good for them, you are causing them to cry because they don't like your plans for them.  Sometimes we are softies and give in to that.  I think that we put up with way to much just to keep our kids from crying.  They are going to cry when things don't go their way.  But you know what?  It's necessary for them to learn this.

We have a room in our house where we have a piano and two chairs.  I have often enjoyed sitting in one of the chairs for a few moments of relaxation while Sam plays with his toys.  Well, his toys are boring to him now.  Guess what he has discovered?  He has discovered two very attractive and enticing guitars that we have on guitar stands.  He likes to crawl over to them and touch them.  I understand the appeal but I also know what can happen when a baby of eleven months of age "plays" with a guitar.  The guitars have nearly tipped over a few times and it would not take much to destroy them.  As I have sat there trying to relax I have often lamented that I cannot because it is inevitable that Sam will be attracted to the guitars and all of my "No Sam" words will fall on deaf ears.  He doesn't understand that word yet.  But soon he will.  And he desperately needs to learn it!  

I could remove the guitars and make things a little easier on myself.  But I'm choosing to value his discipline more than my comfort!  Don't worry, I know I will have other opportunities to relax. (I hope!)  But the point is, I am seeing this as an opportunity to teach Sam.

If I let him have what he wants all the time how will he ever learn self-control?  How will he learn that when mommy says no she really means it?  He cannot see all of the potential problems with "playing" with those guitars that I can.  He honestly does not know any better.  But I love him and I know that saying no will help him to mature.

I can't help but think of the spiritual implications of this.  Does not our wise, heavenly Father know what is best to give and to withhold?  He sees all there is to see and knows just what we need to mature and be more like his Son, Jesus.  Just because he doesn't give us everything we ask for does not mean that he doesn't love us.  On the contrary, it is because he loves us that he will sometimes say no.  It may be hard for us when we are really going through it but someday we will look back and praise him for it.  Because we will realize that in his perfect wisdom God really did know what was best.